Bride or Bridesmaid: Who Pays for What?

Let’s address that elephant in the room shall we? This is a tricky and sensitive topic and it can cause tension in relationships. Do you pay? Or do you ask your bridesmaids to pay? So here are some ways which you can avoid those awkward conversations and how to tackle it.

Firstly we need to address that there are no set rules around this. So many different blogs, forums and even mates who have wedded will tell you different things.

That being said, we believe there are ways and approaches with etiquette and consideration of the other party. We believe open and honest conversations can get you a LOOONG WAY. Simply by saying to your bridesmaids, “I don’t want awkwardness around $$ when it comes to my wedding so please know you can be honest with me” and asking them to be honest about what they can or can't afford from the start is important.

Let’s start with the bridesmaid dresses

First question to you; do you have your heart set on a particular bridesmaid dress and shoes? If you say YES - next question is, how expensive are we talking? If you are asking your bridesmaids to get a dress on the dearer side you need to stop and put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself; would you be willing to fork out say $300 for a bridesmaid dress that you may or may not wear again? If you answer no, then maybe consider chipping in financially. However, if the answer to your first question is NO and you’re open to them having different styles of dresses that suit each of them, consider looking at colour schemes first then go from there. But you need to make it clear whether you are asking them to purchase their own dresses or not. Saying nothing at all can cause a bit of tension which we want to avoid.

Prep for the wedding

Any prep for the wedding like anything beauty related - hair, make up, tan or nails should really be covered by the couple. Especially if you are wanting them to look similar or the same.

Destination weddings

Ok this can start to get fairly expensive. Remember every person attending this wedding has different financial situations so be considerate of this when planning. An approach we feel could be a happy medium is paying for their accommodation the night before and of the wedding. Or even better, you find a property where you can stay all together - this could be seen as a token of appreciation. That way, if the bridesmaids choose to stay for a vacay, you don’t have to worry about their flights or how they get there and back. If you’re paying for the accom then I'm sure they would be willing to purchase the above dress and shoes themselves as a contribution.

Like we said, this is not set in stone - you may agree to disagree with the above but regardless of who pays for what, it’s the approach you take that will affect your relationships. You don’t want something as trivial as money spent to affect your wedding so like we said: honest and open discussions between your best is the way to go.

Have you got any additional tips you'd like to share? Leave a comment below - we'd love to hear from you!